5 tricks on dealing with a stubborn, rebellious teen
The oh so fun teenager! Yup I was there, ( the teen) not too long ago. We all have or will deal with a stubborn teen if we have a kid. Lately I have had a few readers ask me for advice on how to deal with a stubborn, rebellious teen. And have seen some instances close to home. Because of this I decided I would do some digging and give you some tips from experienced moms on how to deal with a rebellious, stubborn teen.
You may feel like you have the most difficult teen in the world. I know I feel this way often about my toddlers. And I do get a little worried about their teen years because of how stubborn they are. However, because I have not experienced raising a teenager, I figured I would ask some who I know, have worlds of experience and knowledge on the matter.
*This post contains affiliate links. Which means I receive a small commission,at no extra cost to you,if you make a purchase through this link. Thank you for supporting this mom and her blog.
Both sides of the story
I like to think of myself as a person who would want to know both sides of the story before trying to fix something. And also thought it would be interesting on getting the views of the teenager. They have their own viewpoints on how and why things should happen. And rightly so, I mean they are growing into adulthood and testing the grounds of their own opinions right? So I went to a couple teenagers that are experiencing some struggles with their own parents and feel they are not understood.
What is your teen thinking? And what they wish you knew.
And here are 4 things they wish you as a parent knew.
1- “I wish they knew that getting a job when I am younger will help me start my dreams and work towards them.”
2- “I wish they understood that I am not seven anymore, I know how to make some of my own decisions.”
3- “I wish they wouldn’t say “what is wrong with you.” All the time It makes me feel broken, and lash out in anger more. I also wish they new about depression and explained to me what it was.
4- “I want them to know how much a love and appreciate them, even if I don’t always show it.”
Teens feel very similar to they way we do. We still want to work towards our dreams, want to learn about why we feel sad, want to continue making our own decisions. It is all miscommunications. Try and talk to your teen and ask what it is they wish you knew.
I decided to ask my own mother first. If you are a usual reader of this blog you will know that my mom has fourteen kids. Her youngest is ten so I know she has boat loads of experience in this area. Here are her 5 tips on what you should do. I also am going to throw in some of her personal examples in hopes that it may hit close to home with some of you experiencing the same things. I basically turned the rest of this post over to her.
A Couple Parent Examples
Be more stubborn than your stubborn teen
Rebuilding respect and trust
A second example was when my oldest son came home smelling like pot. I was so disappointed. Hadn’t gotten this concept of no drugs into his head more? Well my husband and I decided to call the police. They came over with their dogs and we had them search our home. I was glad no other drugs were found. The police then had a good talk with him. He was told if another instance happened we would no hesitate to call the police and he would be taken into custody. We had little trouble after that.
5 tricks on dealing with a stubborn, rebellious teen
Because of these examples I know she must have done a lot of learning and growing at these times, and must have a good golds worth of tips that helped her and can very possibly help you too.
1-Make the other option of not following the rules worse than following them.
The punishment should be something opposite of what they really want.
2-Make it hard for them to make the wrong decisions.
Reward them when they are sweet. Give them surprise rewards out of the blue when they follow the rules just because you love them.
3- Don’t be afraid to correct them in front of their friends, but use tact.
Sometimes kids will test their bounds when others are around. If you give in it make it harder for you to enforce the rules when the friends are gone. Be sweet but firm and don’t be afraid to send friends home if your teenagers are misbehaving. Also friends that are a bad influence on your child should not be allowed in your home.
4- Ease out of the punishment when the punishment is up.
Like a grounding, gradually return their privileges and let them know how much you love them but that breaking of the rules or rebelliousness is not allowed. This shows the child that they are re earning your trust and their privileges.
5-Have your children read the classics and fairy tales etc.
They need to have role models to follow. Have them watch movies that have the same values you have. When diary of a wimpy kid books came out I bought them for my son as I liked the movie. I did not read the books first. Six months later I got rid of them as my son became rude and disrespectful and he was acting out what he was learning from those books. I explained that that was not the type of person we needed to be. The problem cleared up soon after that.
First of all you need to define what the rules are within your own home.
Your rules don’t necessarily need to be what your neighbors, school or relatives think they should be.
Here is where you will probably get your most rebelliousness from. Your child doesn’t want to follow your rules or does not agree with them.
Let your teen know daily much you love them, not how look down on them. We all make mistakes.
What are some ways you work with your teenager?
Join the staycalmmomma newsletter
Subscribe to get our latest content by email.